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 Forgiven by Ahsoka Tano

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Ahsoka Tano

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Posts : 568
Join date : 2011-09-22
Age : 19
Location : Beyblading with Gingka Hagane on Coruscant for the Galactic Beyblading Tournament.

PostSubject: Forgiven by Ahsoka Tano   Fri May 11, 2012 7:38 pm

Very Happy Hope everyone likes it!

Forgiven

I stare horrified at the wall, as I have been from the moment we returned from me and my Padawan’s last mission together. No matter how hard I try to hide it, it’s scary without Ahsoka. Now, she would be walking through the door, a smile on her face as she flopped beside me, asking when our next mission would be. But all I hear is silence, and when I stretch a hand out beside me, all I find is a cold, bare stop she no longer occupies. There is heaviness in my heart. It’s not that I couldn’t save her, I could, but I chose the mission over her for once, and I watched her pay the price.

Obi-Wan has tried to comfort me, using several techniques. Some of them are about attachment and how, as a Jedi, I should let go. Others are his own ways of trying, like taking me to a podracing game before we returned. I could barely stomach it and the bitter tears I had tried not to shed had been mixed with the dirt, leaving my face coated with a mud-like substance. She had podraced before, and I had taught her, just as I had her lightsaber wielding. Clearly my old Master hadn’t thought of that, because as soon as I began telling him about the mission, his face fell and we stood quietly in the roaring engines and screaming crowd until it was over.

Padmé has asked Obi-Wan how I am a couple times, I know she’s worried. But every time I shut my eyes, I see her hurt expression and mouthing something to me that I assume was a curse on my name. I hear the sound of the lightsaber sinking into her flesh, and her gasp of pain. I remember her last look at me and what I did to her murderer. I left her thinking I was a monster.

The shaky word she had whispered that would remain her last haunts me. “Why?” I couldn’t give her a fair answer, so I remained silent. The pool of blood spread very quickly, soaking into the bottom of my tunic and my pants. The look as the blood drained from her face and out of her body was unbearable, so I made a point not to look at it. I assumed she hated me and would spit upon me with her last breath with a gooey mixture of saliva and gore, But the last thing she did with her body beginning to convulse and her hands trembling and blood-drained, was remove the silken beads of her Padawan braid and place it in the palm of my hand. She smiled, taking on a faraway gaze, and she died.

My gloves are still stained from when I transported her frame from its resting place and to the ship. I haven’t gone to the refresher to wash them or even bathe in the few days I’ve been here. Besides, I feel her blood should remain on my hands. Not that I could succumb to scrubbing it off if I didn’t feel that way, it would be like cleaning away a happy and sad memory or tossing a family heirloom out the window. The beads. It suddenly comes to my attention that I don’t know where they are. I search franticly for them, finding them safely tucked away in the hidden pocket inside my tunic. I pull them out and run them through my fingers. As I continue studying them, I catch sight of tiny engraved letters on the beads. They must have been here for a while, because no person on their death bed could craft such small and elegant letters. In the Aurebesh text they read, “I forgive you for everything.” Everything? How could she know when she made these I would need forgiven? She was intelligent, but this leaves me confused. Even in her death she would continue to astound me, as she would do years later shortly before my reversion from Darth Vader to Anakin Skywalker.

Hiding the precious forgiveness inside the pouch by my heart, I find new hope and smile as I strut out the door. I catch sight of myself from a reflection in the window, and know I must look repulsive, though I don’t care. I have the closest thing to hope. And that’s only confirmed when Padmé runs up, smiling, shouting “Ani!” and throws her arms around me.

The End
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PostSubject: Re: Forgiven by Ahsoka Tano   Sat May 12, 2012 10:33 am

*sniff* aww... that was SO sad! very well written, too.
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